Histories

“And on Wednesday night it seemed to me that no call had existed. That I must withdraw, find a job and settle down to the business of daily Christian living. I have much to learn. I was going to write yesterday, but I felt I was being hasty. I told father yesterday morning that I intended withdrawing. I began by saying I had been concerned for him. He said he had been quite content here, that my life came before loyalty to him. He considered that his was nearly over and mine beginning. Furthermore, business was unsettled and he could not guarantee being here himself (in the business) in a few months. He would rather have me in a job than pottering about here. I told him about the BMS and temperamental difficulties. He was a bit upset a) because his daughter had been found wanting b) because he felt I had been wasting time. I was 26, it was time I made up my mind what I was going to do and got on with it. As far as temperament meant he said it was a matter of common-sense and settling down with a fellow-missionary. I said I had felt selfish in going off on a missionary career and leaving him, but he said I need not feel that. I felt that he would have been happier to think of me going on, than of me at a loose end, because he cannot keep me.”